A generation of late bloomers
Moving home after college, drinking less and staying single. Why Gen Z’s delaying adulthood, and what that means for the rest of us.
Young adult life looks dramatically different than it used to. Gen Z is delaying traditional milestones: they are drinking less, having sex less, getting licenses later, living with their parents, and pushing off marriage.
If you ask them, young adults will often tell you they feel stuck somewhere between childhood and adulthood. For example ⤵️
“Whether it’s trying to buy a house, paying off student loans, trying to buy a car, or figuring out what’s next in life, it definitely feels like we’re still where we were when we were 18,” a 25-year-old man in Chicago told me this week.
As the class of 2026 prepares to enter the real world, I’ve heard from many of them that they’re moving back in with their parents post-grad. Not because they don’t have jobs, but because they want to save up some money. There’s more “social acceptance” around moving back in with your parents post-grad, a 2026 graduate from the University of Arkansas told me.
By the numbers:
🏠 Living at home has lost its stigma. Almost half of young adults under 30 are living at home with their parents (the highest rate in modern history).
💲Student debt is crippling. More than two thirds (67%) of Gen Z has delayed a life milestone thanks to student loans.
📉 Job prospects are bleak. Young Americans are the least likely to say now is a good time to find a job.
⚖️ The promise of meritocracy has fallen flat. Just 41% of 18-34-year-olds say you can be successful if you’re willing to work hard (a 28-point drop in the past decade).
❤️🩹 There’s a dating deficit. More than half of Gen Z is spending $0 a month on dates. Strapped for cash, young adults say part of their decision to opt out of dates is because they can’t afford it, and dating’s not as big of a priority as self improvement or time with friends.
But it’s not just the economy, stupid. Gen Z’s delayed adulthood isn’t solely financial. There are social and emotional factors at play here, too.
One big one: minimal social resiliency.
“I think something fundamentally changed after the pandemic,” shared a 30-year-old man from New York.
“There used to be a lot more opportunities to network, build relationships, etc. The people I know that have been able to get ahead had a lot of opportunities to mingle with others, where I think anyone who either started high school or college in 2020 wasn’t given the same chance. In my case, I actually went to grad school during that time, so I got a sense of what anyone getting their bachelor’s was dealing with (when I was there in person),” he said.
Since 2020, there’s been a shift in how we hang out. In a post-Covid world, it simply takes more effort. People are habitually flakier. And a now-engrained social friction that comes with getting a matcha or fro-yo or, better yet, meeting for dinner has coincided with the rise of “day in my life” content plastered across social media. Normal day-to-day interactions are now more curated, less organic, less spontaneous.
Then there’s the optimization of everything. That lack of spontaneity is, in part, driven by Gen Z’s optimization era. These days, amid a surge in health consciousness, wearable tech, GLP-1’s, peptides, looksmaxxing, and more, having a social life comes with side effects. It’s no wonder Gen Z is drinking and partying less if they’re more focused on health and wellness, how many hours of sleep they get, and their macros.
“While I’ve never really drank, a lot of my friends are stopping or cutting drinking cause it just makes them feel gross, gain weight, or cost a lot of money. It just genuinely feels like we’re more tuned in to the financial pressures and health effects that everyday society has nowadays and it kinda makes us feel like we’re back at step 0 with the burdens of society,” said the 25-year-old young man from Chicago.
Today, social media is its own right of passage, and teens and tweens are taught to curate their own personal brands from the time they get their own social media profiles. This has bred a culture of individuality, which disincentivizes doing things as part of a pack.
“Many of my friends tend to prioritize themselves and have never been in a long term relationship, and yes, are living at home,” said a 22-year-old woman in Boston.
In many ways, Covid-19 stole Gen-Z’s confidence. We’ve yet to grapple with the long-term impacts of the pandemic’s interruption of adolescent life — when it comes to this generation (and the next) and their education, their relationships, and, most importantly, their own self confidence.
Like it or not, for Gen Z 2.0, modern life milestones — first iPhone, first Instagram account, first dating app date — are filling the gaps for the seemingly impossible-to-reach traditional ones.
I’ll never forget the 21-year-old student in Arkansas who told me she never learned to flirt with boys because of Covid and feels romantically impaired as a result:
“I feel like [the pandemic] kind of stunted my social abilities with guys specifically. I never had a boyfriend in high school and so I feel like I never really learned how to interact with men. And now I’m just scared. I’m like, ‘I don’t know what to talk to you about.’”
That’s a confidence thing. When we continue to tell young adults that they’re behind, and that they should be where their parents were at their age — without accounting for the fact that the world looks really different — we’re gaslighting them with expectations that are impossible to meet.
There’s this *feeling* that Gen Z is falling behind because when you look at prior generations of young adults, they reached traditional markers of adulthood earlier. But when young adults today compare themselves to their peers, they’re all in the same boat. Instead of blaming young adults for falling behind, it’s worth reconsidering what “success” looks like for their generation.
Noteworthy Reads
How college students are learning to socialize without cellphones, Susan Svrluga for The Washington Post
Teen takeovers: The chaotic gatherings that are spurring curfews and crackdowns, Eric Levenson for CNN
Bumble plans a reset to lure Gen Z back, Sara Fischer for Axios
Ella Devi is the 18-year-old fashion intern pissing off Trump’s America, Elliot Hoste for Dazed
The celebrity Gen Z wants to emulate the most? It’s not Taylor Swift, Lebron James, or Mr. Beast., Kelsey Weekman for Yahoo (featuring quotes from moi!)
Thanks for this. I'm Gen X and had my kids late. They are Gen Z. I was raised by older parents-the WWII Depression generation. I went straight through HS to college to law school. I paid the price, literally and figuratively. I did a lot of demographic research because to the extent my sons don't feel prepared to leave at age 18, or 20, or 25-or reach any of these milestones before it makes sense for them, I wanted to speak to the elephant in the room. I didn't want them laboring under stress of expectations we don't have. I also didn't want to condescend to them or make them feel like they are not capable of doing these things. I have no idea if I "did it right." But this article confirms much of what my own research concluded and much of what I see in them - not drinking, not dating yet, etc. When you love your kids you just want them to be ok. And I appreciate Gen Z letting my generation, the Boomers 👿, etc know "hey-listen to us! Walk a mile in OUR shoes." Again, sincere thanks.
You’re not behind on adulthood. You’re just early for your midlife crisis. Someday you’ll learn to embrace the meh.